Five Things To Do Before Planning Your Wedding
Diving in too quickly could cost you valuable time and money.
You’re embarking on an exhilarating time! You’re now someone’s fiancé, and the fun is just getting started! It will be tempting to jump right into planning, picking a venue, and ironing out all the details. But it’s important to approach the process strategically and intentionally to ensure you’re planning an event that not only reflects your personal tastes and preferences but also fits into your budget and other constraints. So before you get cranking, here are five things every couple should do before starting the wedding planning process (and I’m not talking about creating a website, registry, or email address - those things are important to do, just not yet).
1. Celebrate
This is first and foremost, as your engagement is a serious cause for celebration! Whether you throw a big party with all your closest friends and family or spend the night on the town just the two of you, find a way to celebrate this new chapter before the demands of planning sink in. Just remember, a party with friends and family will provide an opportunity for them to ask you all the questions about your big day. Be prepared to hear everyone else’s opinions on how you should celebrate. It’s okay that you don’t have any plans or answers for them yet. You also don’t have to go along with anyone’s suggestions. This is your wedding, and you get to do it your way.
For now, bask in the newly engaged glow.
2. Determine your budget
Knowing how much money you have to spend and how you want to spend it is essential before starting the planning process. Think of your budget as your spending plan. Where do you want the money to go? Are you keen on a destination wedding or something more intimate at city hall? Do you want to pay for plated food for all your guests, or would you prefer to hire a taco truck? Do you want to hire a live band or your cousin who DJs on the side? Throwing a lavish wedding with hundreds of guests is great, but you need to determine if it’s something you can actually afford. If you have financial assistance from family or friends, great, but many couples today pay for their weddings out of their own pockets.
Planning a wedding is not an excuse to go into debt. Otherwise, you’ll be saddled with making payments as newlyweds, and that doesn’t sound like a fun way to start a marriage. As tempting as it is to go all out for your big day, wedding expenses add up, even for those who prefer to DIY everything. Let’s face it. Weddings aren’t cheap, and your event will likely cost twice as much as you expect (yikes!), which is something you should plan for. While there will always be unexpected costs, you can significantly lower your risk of overspending by creating an intentional and realistic budget upfront before the rest of the planning starts.
Creating a budget is a great way to practice getting real with your future spouse about what you can afford. Getting intentional about your spending (and maybe saying ‘no’ to some things) can be a great training ground for future budget conversations. Better yet, when you bring on a planner (more below), you’ll have an extra accountability partner who can help you stick to your plan while offering creative solutions to ensure your wedding day doesn’t feel ‘cheap’ or lackluster. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to wedding celebrations. There are solutions for budgets of any size, and the more creative you get, the more personal it feels.
3. Define your priorities
It’s important to consider what you’ve always wanted for your celebration. Have you dreamt of getting married on a tropical beach during sunset? Was your engagement over Christmas, and now all you want is to throw a holiday-inspired wedding complete with poinsettias and faux-fur coats? The process of defining your priorities goes hand-in-hand with creating a spending plan, as one will inform the other. It’s important to identify what your non-negotiables are, for example, maybe a close family member is aging or ill, so you need to host your event soon and close to home. But maybe there are some other things you are willing to negotiate or ‘skimp’ on. Let’s say at first you wanted to hire a videographer, but after examining your budget constraints, you choose to stick to just a photographer or hire a social media creator instead. Identifying what is most important to you and your celebration will help inform you of what isn’t a priority.
The reason for creating the budget first is to be able to clearly identify your constraints. While you may not be able to have everything at your wedding, you can have anything. You just need to narrow down what that thing is that you can’t go without, and the rest will fall into place.
4. Set a date
If you didn’t identify ‘when’ you would like to get married while laying out your priorities, now is the time to do so. Having a rough idea of your timeline and potential dates will be handy when inquiring with venues. If there is a specific day that is meaningful to you, you may need to book your venue sooner than later. Keep in mind that Saturdays book up fast, but many venues offer discounts for Fridays and Sundays, so if you’re flexible with your date, hosting your event on an ‘off’ day may save you a few hundred bucks and get you locked into an otherwise busy season.
*Note: If you are looking to book a weekday wedding, consider certain factors, such as commuter traffic, that could impact your guests’ ability to arrive at the venue on time. Be sure to work closely with your planner to identify and remedy any other hurdles your guests may face in order to attend your wedding.
5. Hire a planner
Even if you think you can do a lot of it on your own, hiring a professional planner before you’ve started the planning process will help you to prioritize and stay focused on what matters. They'll be there to guide you through the whole process, from design to execution, so you don’t have to try to navigate big decisions on your own. A planner will be able to assist you with venue research and visits, budget and task management, vendor communications, and day-of coordination.
By bringing a professional on early, they can help you identify other vendors that not only fit your budget but your aesthetic, as well. They likely have people they love working with who speak the same language and can help make your wedding day truly magical. Take a lot of the guesswork around booking individual vendors by hiring a planner who likely already has several trustworthy contacts and recommendations to share.
While It may seem like a large upfront investment - especially if you haven’t signed any other contracts yet - a planner will be able to save you money in the long run by keeping you in alignment with your budget and goals from start to finish.
In my blog post 5 Signs It’s Time to Hire a Planner, I dive into five key reasons why you should bring on professional help during the planning process. You deserve the best experience possible, and shouldn’t have to tackle it alone.
Samantha Gruwell is a Bay Area wedding planner and designer dedicated to creating fun, seamless, and stress-free experiences for her clients. She served in several production management roles at Pixar Animation Studios, contributing to multiple Academy Award-winning films including Brave and Soul. She is passionate about customer service, solving problems, and bringing dreams to life!
She offers three different service packages: Full-Service Planning, Partial Planning, and Wedding-Day Management — each tailored to fit her client’s needs. She looks forward to working with you to make your celebration a beautiful reality.
